


Young and Beautiful

by Hasegawa



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Charles is a masochist, F/M, Infidelity, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2013-08-21
Packaged: 2017-12-18 03:18:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/875022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hasegawa/pseuds/Hasegawa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>X men AU with mutant power. They have been together for six years when finally Charles caught Erik sleeping with others. Insecurities ensued and Charles disappeared. Would you love me when I am no longer young and beautiful?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"What the hell, Erik!?"

The scream shocked Erik from his enjoyable copulation with the enchanting Emma Frost. He stopped thrusting his hip into her, turning back to see his long time lover standing by the bedroom door. Charles was standing against the light, rendering Erik unable to see how his expression looked like. But Erik knew Charles would be fine—true, the smaller man would be angry and pouting for at least a week, but eventually he would come back and forgave Erik. Just like usual.

"Come on, Charles. Don't tell me you don't ever want to taste a young and beautiful woman." Erik grumbled and pulled himself out completely. He took his pants and put it on, ready to accept Charles' shouts and insult, but he stopped when he saw Charles just stood there frozen.

"Charles…?"

The said man looked away and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his cardigan. Erik started to feel guilty. Usually Charles shouted or threw a tantrum whenever he was angry (not that he angered much, and Erik never cheated right in front of him as well). Charles could be a menace when he wanted to, especially with his telepath powers. The tantrum usually ended up in their neighbours banging on their door demanding peaceful night. But the silence Charles projecting was somehow more terrifying.

_Is this why, Erik?_

"Charles?" Erik heard himself choked.

 _I hope you happy, then._ Charles started to sob into his cardigan sleeves. His whole body shook.  _I am sorry I am never enough for you._

Erik swallowed hard. Charles didn't reply to anything he said after that. Erik shoved Emma away, and the woman had even the attitude to offer him a second date. Erik closed the door behind her, and returned to Charles, who was busy sobbing on the floor. He hasn't move even a bit.

"Charles, look, I am sorry, OK? I don't mean to hurt you… It was just experimentation. We have been together for so long, and you are my first and only… I want to taste women as well, you see."

Charles' sob slowly even out, and he slowly stood up.

"Charles, speak to me, please."

"I have pride, you know." Charles whispered with hoarse voice. "I know when I am no longer wanted. I know… that I am never good enough."

Erik tried to hug him, but Charles flinched away.

 _Thank you for everything._ Charles slowly walked to the door.  _You can take the apartment._

 _Charles, don't you dare walk out that door._ Erik screamed in his head, making sure he was projecting it all at the man he had been with for the past six years.  _CHARLES!_

But the older man didn't slow down. He kept walking. Erik felt his anger ignited and snatched Charles' arm.

"CHARLES! Don't go!"

Charles turned to him. Erik saw how dead Charles' eyes were. It weren't the usual sparkling blue, it was cold, lifeless blue.

"You don't need me anymore." Charles smiled sadly. "This hurts, Erik. You pretending to want me,  _this… this_  hurts so much."

" _Liebling,_ I am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. It was foolish of me, I was…"

"You need it. Now you have tasted it, and a boring old man like me wouldn't be good enough for you anymore." Charles bit his lower lips. He looked like he was ready to sob again. "It's OK, I understand."

Charles pulled his arms away and closed the door behind him.

Erik didn't stop him.

* * *

When two days passed and Charles didn't return to their apartment, Erik knew he had hurt Charles more than he ever did. He knew Charles better than himself, and he guessed Charles must be holing up inside Raven's apartment and moaning how Erik was a bad boyfriend. Charles has been doing it for years, ever since their tenth fight back when they were still starting the relationship.

When five days passed and there was no phone call from Raven, Erik started to get antsy. Usually by then Raven would be on the phone, yelling at Erik to get Charles out of her apartment and "sort your married couple problems, because I can't stand Charles drinking through my tea stash anymore". Charles loves tea like fish needs water. It was how they met—Charles the generous patron of the tea house, Erik was the dirt poor second year university student from Germany who was trying his best to get an engineering degree.

When eight days passed with no Charles back laughing inside their apartment, Erik was officially angry. How dare Charles did this to him! He stormed to Raven's apartment, ready to drag the spoiled genetic professor. But when Raven answered the door cheerfully, asking why Charles wasn't with him, Erik felt like he was punched on the gut.

Raven saw Erik's face and her own darkened.

"..What did you do this time, Erik? What did you do to Charles!?"

Erik shook his head. He ignored Raven's scream. He went away as Raven was held by Hank, her fiancée. It was three days afterward that he dared to receive Raven's multiple calls and let her screamed at him.

He searched for Charles around. He tried to catch the metal around Charles' wrist—the metal watch he had bought back when he was a poor international student who was head over heels in love for the beautiful British blue-blood. Charles loved it so much it never left his wrist except in occasional moments in bath and bed. But he found nothing. There was no relaxing hum of familiar metal. Charles was gone.

He tried to contact the Xavier mansion to no avail. Apparently Charles didn't want to return to the mansion at all. Erik contacted the university and found that Charles hasn't worked for the last two weeks, and he was recorded with leave of absent courtesy of Moira, Charles' best friend in administration who did it without being asked when she found out that Charles couldn't be contacted in three days and had missed three of his teaching class.

When Erik found the familiar metal watch on the window of dirty pawn shop downtown, his anger got over his head. He entered the pawn shop and asked for the watch. But the shop maintained a strong privacy policy, so Erik walked away with the watch inside his pocket.

His job almost suffered from his temper. But Erik was already in quite a high position, so nobody dared to cross him. He was already the Senior Project Head manager in a construction company and he took care of at least three different projects. His boss was afraid to reprimand him.

Two months after Charles completely disappeared (Erik has checked; Charles didn't even used his credit card and never went to bank to extract money), Erik swore off Charles. He turned back to Emma for sometimes before going down to as many women as possible. He went out with as many women as possible, enjoying himself through the soft body of women, while trying his hardest to forget the tightness of Charles' arse.

It continued through for more than half a year, and one day Erik felt like he was almost over Charles. He slowly packed Charles' things into boxes and stacked them beside the wall of their apartment. He didn't have the heart to discard those things as yet, since some of them must be Charles' precious thesis and papers. And if Erik was honest to himself, Charles' cardigan collection induced guilt in him like never ever before.

* * *

One day, when he was barking orders and inspecting the length of the pillar, he was called by one of the manager. Apparently someone picked a fight. It was not unusual in construction, especially in summer days where days are hot and people temper are tested against the heat. Erik grumbled and swore to fire the idiots who fought.

What he saw was just as much mess as he expected. One of the fighter was Logan, which was called Wolverine by some due to his wolfish tendency. The man seemed to do everything with violence, even when he gobbled down his lunch. Erik wanted to fire the man so much, but Logan has the energy of two people, and no matter how hot his temper was, Logan's always finished his work on time and perfect.

Grumbling, Erik used his power to separate two men using their metal accessories. The other man, Alex Summer, growled when he felt his fake gold necklace being pulled out by a strong force. When he saw Erik, though, Alex whimpered and almost ran away in fear. Logan, meanwhile, spitted on the ground and looked at Erik.

"Problem?" the wolf asked.

"What happened?" Erik enquired in his deadly tone.

"It's none of your business." Logan has shown dislike towards Erik since day one, ever since Erik hired him three months ago. Erik wasn't sure why but he didn't care. Logan was like a man in a thousand. Erik didn't need to care about how the man felt about him.

In the end he gave two of them some warning. When the day ended, he felt like he has wasted a day just to do the paperwork required for the warning issuance. It also dragged his working hours and he ended up finishing half an hour late than what he supposed to. Erik used to be a workaholic when Charles was still with him, but now Erik was not as diligent as he used to. He thought maybe because he wanted to show Charles how hardworking Erik was, but then again, when he thought back about it, maybe he was working late because he didn't want to face Charles' warm and accepting face.

Erik hissed. He should stop reminiscing about Charles. He was not as soft as the older man, he was the man in their relationship. He was over Charles, so he should be fine.

It was then he saw Logan whistling while walking through the exit.

What he saw next froze him.

Charles was standing in front of the gate, face soft and warm and accepting just like he always did whenever Erik came home.

Erik felt his chest constricted and almost smiled. Charles was back!

"Charles!" His voice was mixed up with Logan's, as both called the name at the same time. Charles blinked and turned, to see that Erik was there as well.

Charles' face paled. His smile disappeared.

"Hey babe." Logan smirked. "Lets go back home."

Charles nodded and quickly turned away, but Erik was faster. He ran and grabbed Charles' arm.

"Charles!"

Time seemed to stop. Erik watched Charles' face and saw the change. Charles was thinner than he ever been. There were dark bags under his eyes. He looked considerably older than he used to when they were still together. And Charles' lip was chapped with some two days wound. But other than that, Charles' eyes were shining like it used to.

But with fear.

Charles tried his best to shake the grip away; but Erik was having none of it.

"Dude." Logan's hand grabbed Erik shoulder. "Don't touch my thing."

"Charles is mine." Erik growled.

Logan looked disgusted. "…I thought all Eriks in the world were assholes. I never realised I was so wrong. You are the only asshole Erik in the entire world."

"Let go, please." Charles scoffed. "Logan, stop. Lets go."

"You are with him!?" Erik snarled in anger. His temper rise. "You left me for this?"

"I never leave you, Erik. You want me to go." Charles looked away. "So let me go. Logan, lets go back."

It hurt Erik that Charles called Logan to go back. It showed how Charles didn't even think about their apartment as his home anymore. Logan grabbed Erik's wrist. Erik felt his wrist cracked and he reluctantly let Charles go. Charles quickly moved away, and Logan snatched the smaller man harshly into his arms.

"I warn you, Lehnsherr." Logan hissed. "Don't you dare mess Charles again."

Erik watched as they quickly walked away, Charles looked like a deer caught in head light.

* * *

Now that he knew where Charles was, Erik couldn't stop himself. He checked Logan's address and the next day he visited the address when Logan was on shift. It was a very run down apartment with questionable building integrity. Graffiti depicting porn were on every inch of the wall and the whole place smelled like vomit and old piss. Erik walked up the stairs slowly, to the fourth floor where the room 43 was. He didn't even knock on the old door. Instead he used his power to twist the lock and opened the door softly.

The room was not goo in any standard. It was fairly clean but smelled like old, humid store room. Charles was seated on one sofa, old but looking comfortable and sighed.

"Hello, Erik."

"Charles."

"Are you abusing your authority and enters your subordinate's apartment without permission, now?"

Erik ignored the jab. "This is not an apartment. This is a hellhole."

Charles didn't give a response to that. He instead closed his eyes and sighed.

"I am tired, Erik. Please leave me alone."

"Why are you tired?"

"I worked at night shift."

"What, as a slut?" Erik chaffed.

Charles' eyes opened with anger. "I am not you. And you know better than anyone how undesireable I am. Who wants to fuck an old, ugly professor?"

Erik swallowed. No, even then, Charles was still beautiful. But he couldn't say it out loud. He was the one who confirm Charles' deepest insecurity. "Charles, stop being ridiculous. Come back home."

"This is my home now."

"You are joking. You are born with silver spoon, you are brought up with blankets around you. This… this doesn't suit you."

Charles smiled sadly. "….I feel comfortable here."

"With Logan? He is a psychopath. He is too violent for you!" Erik has seen how Logan was—and he suspected Logan had hurt Charles as well. Charles was wearing the cardigan he wore when he left that day, but the long sleeves couldn't hide the proof of possible violence.

"Don't say that. Logan is a good man."

Erik felt the ugly telltale of jealousy. "So you choose him over me?"

"…He promised me that he would still love when I am no longer young and beautiful. He was not in this for money as I have nothing when I met him. He is a good man."  _He wants me for me._ Erik heard Charles' familiar telepathy in his head.

Erik grabbed Charles and kissed him. But Charles didn't respond.

"Charles…  _Please_." Erik whispered to Charles' neck. "I am sorry. I promise I will never do it again. Please come back. I …"  _I need you._ "I am sorry. I never want you for your money. I want you."

"…You don't need to lie, Erik. I understand. I don't blame you. Please stop feeling guilty."

Silence fell between them. Erik slowly grabbed Charles' too thin arms and the cardigan sleeves easily fell off. Erik froze when he saw the blue black marks on Charles' usually white and smooth skin.

"What…!?"

"Its nothing." Charles quickly hid his arms and grabbed his cardigan sleeves up. "I was careless."

"You are never careless, Charles. Clumsy, yes. But never careless until this much. He… he hurts you, doesn't he?"

"He is a good man, Erik. He didn't mean it."

"…And what, you love Logan now? He will fucking kill you!"

"… Then you can collect my dead body if that happens." Charles shrugged and let Erik go. "Please go away."

Erik let Charles go. He saw the eyes. It was full with disappointment. He slowly walked away and watched as Charles slumped onto the sofa and closed his eyes. It was clear that Charles was dead tired and not used to working physically.

He looked back once and closed the door behind him.

* * *

Erik tried his best to stop himself from visiting Charles yet again.

But he couldn't do it. He was standing in front of Charles' apartment doorstep three days after that, with flowers and new cardigan as a peace offering. Charles always loves a new cardigan.

It was then he heard the voices.

"YOU MEET HIM! HE HURTS YOU! ARE YOU AN IDIOT?"

"Logan! Please don't hit… I am sorry…"

"IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH HIM SO MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO!?"

It was Logan's hoarse voice. Erik looked up just to see Charles falling from the fourth floor window, slowly fell to the ground, and Erik was too shocked to be able to find and control any metal on Charles' body to slow the fall. Erik watched as Charles fell on his back and a loud crack sound was heard.

* * *

To be continued. Next chapter is the last.


	2. Chapter 2

The doctor said that Charles tail bone was completely crushed. His nerves were severed and Charles Xavier wouldn’t be able to walk in the future. That aside, Charles was also diagnosed as victim of domestic violence, with bruises fresh and old, varying sizes all over his body parts which would be covered by clothes.

 

Raven swore out through the doctor report and by the end of it she looked like she was ready to kill Logan. And Erik. But maybe also both, definitely both. Hank was beside her with worry. He liked and respect Charles for the Professor’s intellect, but they were not really close as family. Especially since Charles always hinted that he thought Hank stole Raven from him.

 

When Charles finally woke up, he looked very lost.

 

“Charles!” Raven sobbed into Charles’ hospital gown, and Charles’ hand slowly find itself patting his sister’s hair softly.

 

“Raven, it is alright now. Everything is fine.”

 

Erik felt his chest constricted. It was the words Charles always used to calm his sister down. Ever since he knew how close the siblings were. How Charles always try to shield his little sister from the world.

 

“Nothing is fine! You are not fine!!!” Raven sobbed. “Nothing is fine, Charles. Please stop doing this to yourself.” _Don’t keep yourself away. Don’t take the whole burden by yourself. Mother is dead, Charles. Kurt Marko is dead. Don’t be your old self again._

 

“I am fine, Raven.”

 

Raven shook his head.

 

“Stop lying to yourself, Charles. Stop.”

 

The professor closed his eyes. “Raven, please…”

 

“…We will talk later.” Raven sniffed and released her older brother. “But we definitely will. And I won’t let you fall alone anymore.”

 

 

* * *

 

A month passed from the day Charles woke up. He was cleared from the hospital intensive care, but they stuck him in a physical therapy regime and intense psychological sessions every three days. Those made Charles laughed. They thought they could break his mind with those stuffs. They didn’t know Charles was used to this. Even worse than that. Since he was very, very little.

 

He was trained since small to be an emotion masochist. The addiction of having a heartbroken heart, never ending self depreciation and desperation to make someone turns to him and acknowledge his existence. Charles would do everything to make people remembers that he, Charles Xavier, was alive.

 

Charles hates the loneliness. 

 

“How did you meet Erik Leshnerr?” _Startwithsmallthingsfirst,makesurehefellscomfortable.thisissohard.comeoncharles._

 

The psychologist’s thought were too loud. It helped, though, to remind Charles that he was not alone.

 

How did Erik and him meet? Charles remembered it was in a café—Erik was one of the waiter and he was one of the patron—and he found Erik interesting. Handsome with the right kind of body, but the smile, yes, it was the smile. All full of teeth and like a shark. But sincere, because Erik clearly made the effort to smile. Smile wasn’t his natural baseline. Somehow it made Charles liked him.

 

Erik was a struggling student. Charles stepped in because he could. He helped Erik in everything, really. Money, emotional support, even partnership, firstly because Erik needed the spouse visa, but later it turned to a devotion from Charles. Charles fell into the deep abyss of desperate need to satisfy the man, just like what he had for his uncaring mother.

 

If Charles could, he wanted to stop his younger foolish self from meeting the engineer.

  

If Charles could choose, he didn’t want to be born from his mother’s womb.

 

If Charles could change, he would stop himself from being born.

 

“We met in a café.” Charles smiled and answered.

 

The therapist’ smile was strained.

 

“How about Logan Lowett?”

 

What about Logan? Charles felt a bit guilty. The man was sort of his impingement. His rebound partner. Logan didn’t start loving him until they both realise how they both needed it. They were the same, lonely people who are futilely searching for something to fill up their hollow life. Logan picked him up from the street when Charles was hungry, desperate to die and was attacked by the local young gangsters-wannabe. Logan intended to use Charles as a pet, and Charles, for once, wanted to be a pet which are taken care of.

 

Despite his violent tendency, Logan was good. Charles always reminded himself how Logan saved and protected him whenever he was on the end of Logan’s angry slaps. Logan was good. He saved him. And Logan promised to stay even though Charles was clearly too old and too ugly for anyone to love.

 

“…We met in the alleyway.”

 

The therapist groaned. The session didn’t move at all.

 

 

* * *

 

He found himself ushered back into the apartment he used to share with Erik.

 

He couldn’t refuse since he was now on a wheelchair. He couldn’t control the wheelchair, as it was made purely of metal that Erik commands. Erik commissioned the chair to be built that way; despite Charles’ weak refusal.

 

“We are back, Charles.” Erik ignored the obvious dissatisfaction on Charles’ face. He knew Charles didn’t want to return to their apartment, but Raven and Hank couldn’t house Charles in their apartment and nobody could take care of Charles in the Xavier mansion. Not to say how the mansion was not wheelchair friendly.

 

Charles looked around. The whole room seemed similar, but different. Then he realised that everything was lowered to his level. The table was lowered, the kitchen was lowered, even the sofa was moved away and it became bean bags instead.

 

“You must be tired. Do you want to eat or sleep first?”

 

Charles stared at the engineer closely. Erik tried to smile.

 

“Why do you do all this?” Charles asked slowly. “..I have nothing to offer for you now.”

 

Erik fell to his knee in front of Charles’ wheelchair. Their eyes met for a moment before Charles pulled away, looking away. But Erik wouldn’t let it be. He grabbed the professor’s face in both hands and felt Charles’ warm cheeks stiffened. He felt how reluctant Charles was with their eye contact.

 

“Look at me, Charles. Please.”

 

“…I cant.” Charles closed his eyes. “No, I don’t… I can’t do this again, Erik. I need space. I cant. Not now. Please.”

 

“I’ll give you all the space you need, Charles, I promise.” Erik whispered. “But I need you to know how sincere… how much I really… how much you re important to me.”

 

Charles slowly opened his eyes. Erik was staring, just staring as if they were the only people in the world.

 

“Read my mind, please. Charles, please come into my mind and read me.”

 

 

* * *

 

_Charles, Charles, come here with me, I need you to help me with the nerves._

 

Charles sighed as he rolled his wheelchair, turning towards Raven’s waiting room. He nodded at Hank and Erik and both of the men nod back. After Charles left, both men was silent; since neither knew what to say. It was Hank and Raven’s wedding day, and he couldn’t wait for it to be over. Charles came to him early in the morning with Erik to deliver the speech of “Hurt my sister, I’ll make sure you will shit your intestine out of your ear” talk. Which was very convincing, since Erik could control the iron in the blood and Charles could mind bend him so hard Hank would feel every single pain possible. Hank felt even more awkward now.

 

“Calm down.” Erik said calmly, “We need to support each other now. You have got the younger Xavier, I need you to support me get the older one, brother in law.”

 

“What?” Hank turned his head so fast he almost sprained his neck.

 

His answer was Erik’s terrifying shark-like smile.

 

 

* * *

 

Erik couldn’t allow it, but he couldn’t refuse Charles’ wish as well. He watched as the two men met, and he was ready to protect Charles in case Logan went ballistic. But it wasn’t needed, as they only exchanged a few sentences and ended up in Logan went away in silent.

 

When he reached Charles, he found broken Charles crying in silent. Erik grimaced and gently pulled Charles into half embrace. Charles started to sob against his chest.

 

Somehow it pained Erik so much too. Charles was not projecting, but Erik felt it somehow still. Charles’ pain.

 

“I am sorry, Charles.” Erik whispered. “I am sorry.”

 

It was 4 months after Raven’s wedding when Charles finally had the courage to meet Logan again. Logan didn’t ask for Charles, he didn’t visit to the hospital or when Charles was discharged and was sent to live back with Erik. But from the intense and quite hostile stare Erik got from the wolf in their construction site when he told Logan how Charles wished to meet him, Erik realised that Logan knew where Charles was.

 

Charles asked to meet Logan in one of the smaller dinner in Logan’s apartment area. Erik made sure that everything was safe, but Logan surprisingly promised to not touch Charles at all even if he wanted to kill someone. Logan’s stare was hollow, as if he knew what Charles’s would say—the rejection.

 

_“I hurt him badly, didn’t I?”_

_Erik growled. “He is paralysed, what do you think?”_

_Logan_ _didn’t retort back._

 

And at that moment Erik could sense how Logan actually did love Charles, or still loving Charles still.

 

He respected that part of Logan, even though he won’t admit it loud. Because he knew how badly it felt. To hurt the one you loved so much, just because of your own selfishness. And he promised to himself that nobody would hurt Charles anymore.

 

When Charles managed to compose himself back, he coughed. He signed for Erik to take the seat across him and opened the diner’s menu. Erik knew the menu was not impressive at all, but he let Charles pretended to be interested in the menu to gather himself.

 

“I am sorry, my friend, to show you this embarrassing me.” Charles smiled weakly. “I thank you for everything, Erik. Why don’t you get us some drinks, my treat?”

 

Erik’s jaw hardened. He knew it sounded so innocent and casual. But he knew Charles enough to know the deeper meaning behind the offer. It was a peace offering to please. “You don’t need to bribe me for everything, Charles. Please understand that I do this because I want to, not because I want you to repay me?”

 

Charles flinched and looked away. He signed for the waitress to come and took their order. Charles ordered tea for himself and a coffee for Erik. When the blonde, brown eyed waitress walked away with swayed hips, Charles smiled.

 

“She is attracted to you, my friend. If you want to ask her out, this is the best time. She just turned single last week.”

 

Erik groaned loudly and the iron cutlery on the table shook a bit. Charles visibly flinched.

 

“Sorry, Erik.”

 

“Why do you keep doing this?”

 

“Doing what?” Charles asked sadly. “Whatever I do, you always get mad at me.”

 

“This.” Erik grunted. “This, you trying to push me away with your ‘generosity’ and ‘understanding’, trying to set me up with some women… “

 

“What else you want me to do? You told me you wanted them! You told me you need that from me, and now I am giving it, but you keep getting angry at me… What do you want?” Charles flushes with anger and hurt. “What is it that I haven’t given you enough?”

 

Erik sighed. He took Charles’ hand into his.

 

“Your trust, Charles. I want you to trust me.”

 

“I trust you.”

 

“Not enough. You don’t actually trust me. You only trust me as a person who would hurt you again and again. So I need you to change that thrust. I will never deliberately hurt you, liebling.”

 

Charles didn’t answer. But something changed since that day, Erik noticed. Charles accepted his hug more freely, unlike the post-accident Charles who always stiffened whenever Erik touched him. Charles seemed to enjoy their moments better, even so far as accepting Erik’s body spooning his when they slept. Slowly it returned to the days before everything happened, the days when Erik was truly in love with Charles and Charles was enchanted by Erik’s charm. It was happiness for Erik, and he savoured it as much as he could.

 

Erik could see that Charles still have something hidden behind his mind—he always acted normal and happy in front of Erik, but when he thought Erik wasn’t around, Charles would hide himself inside his mind, looking old and tired. But Erik didn’t push it, for he knew that it was too early; only 2 years after Raven’s wedding (and subsequently 6 months after Kurt was born). Yet sometimes Erik wondered whether Charles was unhappy because he missed Logan (whom has stopped working in the construction company Erik managed). Erik never asked, and he considered it as the punishment of him hurting Charles in the first place. Charles picked the guilt up one day and assured Erik that he missed Logan, but not in the way Erik probably was thinking. It was then Erik saw how truly blinded idiot he was—the reason Charles have so many insecurities was because he loved Erik so much—too much to be able to let go. He understood now, why Charles gave him up in the first place when he saw Erik slept with another woman because, if Erik was happy with it, then Charles couldn’t do anything but let go. Because Charles’ love is painful and selfless. And Erik’s attitude enforced Charles’ unconscious belief that love was always one sided and very demanding for self sacrifice. Wasn’t that the case with his real and adoptive parents, to a certain degree Raven and then Logan?

 

Charles, on the meantime, started to learn to express himself properly, and not relating to mind reading too much. He started to realise the way he thought he was being agreeable and generous (reading people’s wish and gave people what they wanted from him), to keep giving without expecting anything in return, was not actually kind. It was actually torturing the people who loves him and wished him to be free. He learned to curb his selfless love and demanded more—something he was utterly embarrassed about, but very satisfied with, when he for the first time asked Erik to rub his feet. The reason why people didn’t say what they thought was because sometimes what they thought at that particular moment wasn’t the best representation of what they actually thought of a matter as a whole.

 

Finally bored being invalid in the house, Charles returned to his job as a professor, and soon he became cheerful again, rattling about how his students were either wonderful/slobbering youths. It brought new sensation to their relationship, as now they could enjoy their chess routine better while talking about Charles’ students or Erik’s idiotic subordinates. Charles enjoyed the pampering Erik lavished him with, while Erik enjoyed Charles’ returned from the depression.

 

One slow Friday night, when both of them were tucked in the bed, Erik whispered.

 

“I will still love you even when you and I are no longer beautiful, Charles.”

 

Charles’s breathing stopped.

 

“Will you?” Erik asked softly. “Will you do the same for me?”

 

Charles nodded, eyes wet, and he turned as much as he could with his dead legs unmovable under the sheet, and kissed Erik lovingly.

 

“Yes my friend. Always.”

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. 
> 
> The title is based on Lana Del Rey's song Young and Beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment please?


End file.
